I have come to conclude that there are two perspectives of understanding life. The first is the conflict perspective while the second is the consensus perspective. In other words, if you check the situations around you, you will either be faced with the conflict perspective where you will be asking questions bothering on the conflicting nature of issues such as differences in disposition, height, gender, size, gifts, endowment, knowledge, status, wealth, trusts, commitment, treatment, tolerance, authority, power, attitude, behaviour, perspective, quietness, gentleness, loudness, stubbornness, meanness, etc. Definitely, with all these variations, there are bound to be CONFLICTS.
The consensus perspective deals with the fact that the only way you can understand life is to see it from the point of view that all conflicts will end in CONSENSUS. Either to stay away, or stay together after considering several issues. This is based on the fact that looking for that perfect situation is a utopian ideology. Perfect situations will not exist but individuals or groups must look for consensus within the conflictual nature around him or her through a critical evaluation of self. This self-evaluation is important because by your various actions, social status and disposition, others also have the conviction that you are a key contributor to the conflict they are experiencing, whereas, you might ignore this fact and be blaming others.
The conclusion is that all conflicts will end in CONSENSUS. The consensus, in this case, maybe genuine, fake, win-win, depending on the parties, approaches, sincerity, and circumstances, principles and trust involved. The consensus is not a permanent guarantee that conflict will not occur again because the entire creation is sitting on conflict, exploitation, and control of one group by the other. Except that the way towards peace is consensus.
HOW TO ACHIEVE PEACE AND CONSENSUS
Believe in the existence of conflicts at creation, in every sphere of life and that every human being is a critical part and sources of conflict, including your very self.
Believe in the fact that consensus is a sure solution to the conflict. Explore the use of CAMAG.
The use of CAMAG is precipitated by the fact that you ask the following questions when confronted with issues of conflict or consensus.
After asking yourself a series of questions, consider whether to confront the issues at stake once and for all irrespective of the consequences. It’s certainly clear that some issues should not be allowed to continue, otherwise, a party MAY continue to unnecessarily exploit, control and exhibit contradictions if unchecked. Caution should be taken to avoid confronting what or who should not be confronted. Weight the cost-benefit analysis of your actions before you act.
After asking yourself a series of questions consider whether to confront the issues at stake, or whether to simply avoid the party or the issue bringing the conflict for peace to reign. Avoidance may be the best way out and it could also be a time bomb as certain issues may require confrontation to resolve. Weigh the cost-benefit analysis of your actions before you act.
There are issues of life or sources of conflict that confrontation and avoidance will not be the best solution. The way forward may be to manage the person or conflicting situations. For instance, there are some foundational issues or innate attitudes of certain people or corporate behaviour that are beyond confrontation and avoidance. There are situations we do not have any other option than to manage close associates, siblings, relatives, spouse, friends and fiends, co-workers, brethren, co-travellers and others we may be having a short or time-bound relationship with, while in other situations, our association maybe for a long time to come. Always remember that if you change the skin of a fox, you cannot change the fact that a fox is a destructive animal.
This is another way of dealing with conflict. This becomes necessary because there are situations or people you cannot change in view of the prevailing situations, the characters, attitudes, behaviours, knowledge, exposures, etc. and the internal and external factors involved. A critical review of the strength and weaknesses, the implications of your actions on the opportunities you may lose and threats in your existence and persistence are some factors that should be considered. Through a critical evaluation, the best option may be to accept wholly or for the time being.
In the course of acceptance, time is a serious factor. By allowing time to pass or postponing taking action to a later date or time may prove to be a potent solution to a conflicting issue or situation. Mind what you say but simply remain silent. Cede your rights and privileges as time is a great healer. Clear your minds.
(5) God Factor (Divine Resolution)
With reference to the introductory part of this write-up, conflict is part of life. God is the author of life and has solutions to all life problems. Human beings are limited in all things. It’s only God that is all-knowing. Take your issues to God for consolation and divine resolution as human efforts may fail you.
You may wish to borrow from my personal motto which is “act well your part, for there the honour lies”.
When I am persistently denied my rights or cannot place the outcome of my expectations from any organization or persons, I console myself with “blessed is the man who never expects, for he is never disappointed”
Long ago, I’ve known that the absence of war does not mean peace. This implies that the root of a conflict must be addressed or parties at conflict must first be willing to resolve their conflicts before a meaningful resolution could take place. Conflicts are not resolved by law or decrees or by biased umpire/parties. This only brings out YES which actually means No.
Generally, when the above is prevalent, the ensuing conflicts will be greater than the former because silence or absence of war does not imply peace.